Losing Control

Here I am, guest blogging this week for my good friend.  I’ll just say, he’s a tough act to follow!

On a snowy Saturday night in the East Village, my wife and I had our yearly night out with Shamus and Kristine.  Some serious things have transpired since we last sat down for dinner in the city.  It seems like the past year has profoundly challenged the four of us in many ways.  We have a special relationship with the Smiths and it’s hard to think of another audience where my wife and I can unpack a mixed bag of grief, confusion and hardship and start to laugh instead of shedding a tear.  I love them for that!

As we spoke on topics as diverse as the economy, home schooling and a certain storm that wreaked havoc last fall, I noticed a common thread.  If the thought of not being in control is scary then the reality of not being in control is downright terrifying.  The funny thing is, it was always the reality though we rarely owned up to it in a serious way.  To acknowledge how little control we have over our lives seems so…defeatist in our culture…maybe even cowardly or lazy.  Aren’t we supposed to seize the day and master our destiny? 

I never truly understood homelessness until Hurricane Sandy.  Due to the kindness of family and friends (and complete strangers) we have had a place to stay for the past 4 1/2 months and our material needs have been generously met.  We are extremely grateful for these blessings.  I know our house still stands in the neighborhood where my children grew up but after all these months we spent trying to rebuild it…it doesn’t feel like home anymore.  So much has changed, neighbors have moved away and our once beautiful community has been washed away and left desolate...it’s very depressing to walk the streets where I once loved to take in the gorgeous sunrises over the ocean.  Even as residents slowly move back in, there is a tangible cloud of despair overshadowing everything.  We feel like the characters in every story about lost wanderers from Israel’s wilderness trek to Island castaways waiting for a rescue, only this time, there seems to be no promised land in sight.  Maybe we feel like the ‘rolling stone’ Bob Dylan sang about.  But where do we go from here?

Tonight while still pondering these things I stumbled on a Bible verse accidentally.  “Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.”  I guess it’s not all about where you’ve been or where you think you’re going when it comes down to it.  The question is who am I following?  The simple truth of that verse brought me peace.  Lord , none of this surprises you.  You have done wonderful things…and you planned them long ago.  You plotted this perilous course.  Do I trust you with my story? 

It says elsewhere, “For we are God’s Masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”  There’s that phrase again..’planned long ago’.  How much thought is put into a masterpiece?  As a creative person I know the feeling of laboring over a piece of dialogue, a color choice, a camera angle…just to get it right.  What a feeling of elation when those scribbled lyrics, or erratic sketches or painful strumming cross the line from noise to beauty.  It’s like the experience of birth…the feeling that you brought some warmth and light to a cold, dark place that made all the suffering, the sleepless nights and the confusion worth it. 

So I guess I could say this journey has taught me a few things.  Among them I’ve learned control is an illusion.  Life can turn on a dime and there are no easy answers.  Still above all, I hear the voice of Christ saying, as he did to his disciples, “Follow Me.”  Did they know what they were getting into?  Maybe not…but they trusted in the One who said, “In this world you will have trouble but take heart, I have overcome the world!”   As we prepare to return to our house soon, may we find a place of security and love but if we never feel too comfortable and find it difficult to call it ‘home’ it may not be the worst thing.  I’m reminded we are still on the journey and we haven’t quite reached the place we can lay our burdens down and call our true home.

Nothing Could Be Father From The Truth

It's Father’s Day.  I think a lot of times this day gets lumped in between several birthdays, graduations and weddings that we cram into this time of year.  I know we shouldn’t spend just one day a year honoring the men who have raised us or the men who are helping us raise our children.  But today, more than most days and more than other Father’s Days in the past, I was particularly struck by just how important to me the men in my life are.  I am blessed to have the most loving dad a girl can ask for. I don’t know how he does it, but somehow he has stayed married to my mom for almost 39 years (no easy accomplishment in this day and age). He raised four daughters. Yes ladies and gentlemen, that means he is outnumbered 5:1 (6:1 If you count the cat). My dad is a man of immeasurable patience. He is strong and gentle at the same time. He is fair and kind and generous and has lavished grace on me my whole life.  Everyone who meets him, loves him. You can’t help it.  I know it cannot have been easy to love me at times but there was NEVER a time in my life he didn’t make me feel loved. No matter what mistakes I made or how badly I had let him down. I always figured when I was a little girl, someday I’ll marry a guy just like my dad.

Now if any of you are lucky enough to  know my dad and Shamus, you would say that on the surface, they don’t seem to be very much alike.  While my dad prefers to sit on the sidelines, Shamus always wants to be the center of attention. While my dad’s quiet way has calmed some of the fiercest arguments between me and my sisters, Shamus is better at starting trouble and stirring up controversy at family functions. While my dad’s way of parenting was to do as much as he could to keep us from hurting ourselves, Shamus has a more “what’s the worst that can happen” kind of approach. And yet, every day, I see a lot of my dad in Shamus. It’s in the way he hugs Aiden after he had to discipline him for something…just like my dad used to do. It’s in the way he kisses the boys and says, “You know I love you” for no reason at all…just like my dad does. It’s in the way he tries to live his life in a way that he  wants his sons to emulate and more importantly, it’s in the way he owns up to his mistakes when he falls short… just like my dad. It isn’t just the things Shamus does as a father that reminds me of my dad, but in the way he has always treated me.  I couldn’t begin to list all the ways he has shown his strength, loyalty, generosity, kindness and grace to me over the almost 14 years we’ve been married.  I am thankful that Shamus has a dad who instilled these values into him, like my dad did for me.

So while it would seem on the surface that I married a man very different from my dad, nothing could be Father from the truth.  

Guest Post

I asked Jeannine to put down a few thoughts for us, as we carried on a tradition that goes back at least twelve years. Here is her perspective. (A very accurate one, I might add)

*****************

If the calendar says mid-February, than it must be time for the annual Smith/Seery Valentine’s Day Dinner in NYC.   Much time has passed since we began this tradition, and to say that our lives have changed a bit in the years we’ve been celebrating is an understatement.  Nevertheless, we’ve managed to maintain our friendship through relocation, procreation and even a cardiac catheterization.  Life certainly hasn’t been dull and having good friends to help you navigate these roads is essential.

Yet, amidst these changes, there are a few things you can count on seeing or hearing at our yearly celebration.  In keeping with the theme of this blog (It is called, Top Ten, isn’t it?), I present to you the Top Ten Events Guaranteed to Occur at Our Annual Dinner

1. An obscene amount of amazing food will be consumed.  I don’t know how we do it, but each year’s meal seems to surpass the last.   

2. Within moments of sitting down, Shamus will develop a ‘special’ relationship with the waitstaff.   This will result in his being served a dish or drink that is not listed on the menu, or has never been served to a patron before.

3. A Star Wars or Marx Brothers movie line will be quoted, followed by an eye roll by either Jeannine or Kris. 

4. Shamus will eat part of his wife’s dinner or dessert.  Tom will try to eat part of his wife’s dinner or dessert, only to be met with an icy stare down. 

5. Tom will talk at length about the old Gateway Youth Group.  We will all have heard these stories many, many times before and at least one will contain a reference to ‘High Tops’. 

6. Kris will attempt to tell a story, only to be interrupted by Shamus who will insist that she is telling it wrong. 

7. Tom will attempt to talk about animation, only to be interrupted by Jeannine who will tell him to stop talking about his animated balls. 

8. The following topics will be discussed:  Facebook, Christianity/Church, Homeschooling, Ron Paul, Firearms, New Jersey, the Amish, The NYC Board of Education, Computers/Technology, People Held Captive in Boxes. 

9. Shamus will mention at least three good movies he’s seen to Tom.  Tom will not have seen any of these movies, because his wife will not let him. 

10. We will begin looking forward to next year’s dinner before the night is over. 

          Dinner Took Place at: Agave

                      Dessert was at: Milk And Cookies Bakery

Guest Post

Top Ten Ways I Find Being a Mom is Just Like Being a Cop....

10.  You can't reason with a child or a drunk. Yet,that glazed over expression still surprises you every time you try. 

  9.   You will inevitably be covered in pee, poop and/or vomit more than you'd like.

  8.   "If you tell me the truth, things will go easier for you:"

  7.  "We can do this the easy way or the hard way, it's up to you". 

  6.  "Watch your head when you get in the car"

  5. Trying to cuff a perp and diaper a baby are more similar than you'd think. 

  4. "Do you really think they are going to take your word over mine?"

  3. "Put the knife down now!"

  2. You're constantly doing "finger sweeps" inside mouths. Sometimes it's for bags of heroin, other times it's for the choking hazards that your 4 year old left on the floor for his 8 month old brother to   find. 

  1.  "You have the right to remain silent, I am begging you to use it". 

Playing Hookie

The following post was written by my sister in law Elisabeth, who accompanied us on our NYC trip this past Thursday

*****

Instead of school, this Thursday brought me to New York City with some of the most New York people I know. I was privileged enough to experience, first hand, Aiden’s first trip to the Big Apple. Although the idea of the actual city life doesn’t draw as much attention from him, all he could talk about on the car ride was seeing the “subway train” and getting himself his ticket.
Our first stop in the city was, of course, the subway. After some quick photos, we hopped on the train to Rockefeller Center. Aiden wasn’t the only one seeing the city icon for the first time. I was amazed myself. Who would have thought such an enormous tree would be brought into the busiest, most populated city in the nation time and time again. After some photos by the tree and its surroundings, we got back on the subway for a trip to Grand Central Station. Of course this was the highlight of the trip for Aiden. We visited the model train set in the station where Aiden could have stood for hours watching all the trains go by. I learned a lot about trains from the little guy that day.
Our final stop brought us to a quaint little Italian restaurant downtown. If you haven’t experienced eating in the city with Kris and Sha, you will quickly find out that you DO NOT eat at chain restaurants. You also NEVER eat in Midtown. Instead, you find the small, family owned businesses that will always taste better than McDonalds or TGIFs. In that same small restaurant, Sha had asked Kris to be his girlfriend (even if Kris was more concerned about her food than the memory) 15 years ago! After enjoying way too much delicious food, we stopped at Rocco’s and Magnolia’s for some more food and headed out of the city. I must say, I was almost as sad as Aiden to say goodbye.
Thanks Kris, Sha, and Aiden for letting me be a part of this memory. I had a lot of fun, as always!

A funny thing happened on the way to church…

Posted by Kris

So, we’re on our way to the 4:30pm gathering at LCBC yesterday and something unusual happens. That is to say, it is unusual for us to see in our Lancaster neighborhood. We’re driving on a fairly busy road and on the opposite side of the street, we see a young male in his late teens or early twenties walking briskly along the shoulder. He is carrying a bag containing one or two rather large bottles of liquor. Close behind is a uniformed police officer, flat top haircut, average height but in good shape keeping pace. Behind this officer is an older gentleman much taller than the other two who is struggling to keep up. There is a look on his face though, that leads me to believe I am about to see justice in action. Sha turns to me and says, “Whaddya think?” I replied that I thought it might be a good idea for us to hang out a bit- you know, in case the guy out in front decided to run. No sooner had we pulled over than our liquor toting punk bursts out into a sprint, tossing his loot to lighten his load.

Now, let’s pause for just a moment, shall we? Here is the thought that immediately ran through my head, “Dammit, I’m wearing flip flops.” (one of which wasn’t even on ‘cause I had my foot on the dashboard). I had just opened my car door, when I see Shamus darting through two lanes of traffic and now running parallel to the perp and the officer. I have seen Shamus run that fast only once in my life and it involved a buffet line. I have also been on the receiving end of a Shamus tackle during a friendly game of “touch” football and I know the hurt this guy is in for, especially if Shamus hits him at that speed. Momentarily thrilled at the adrenaline rush, I jumped into the driver’s seat, with the intention to cut the perp off forcing him to run into my car. I’ve seen this work hundreds of times in movies and perhaps 6 or 7 times in real life. Only, as I turned the car in their direction- this is what I see. Perp laying face down on the concrete, arms outstretched. Attached to him are the probes that have been fired from the officer’s taser. Shamus is standing not 15 feet from the perp with his gun pointed at his head. I can literally feel my jaw drop. What is he doing??? When I notice the cop seems unfazed by Sha’s loaded weapon pointed at this individual, I ease up. Clearly I missed something here. Not to mention, the action! It seems as though Shamus beat me to an arrest. Huh, thats a little irritating- but it also made me very proud. Nice work babe! In case you're wondering if this made us late for church, fear not. For as long as I have known Shamus, he arrives everywhere at least one hour prior to the stated starting time. Now I know why.

Jimmeny Crickets!

While this post is bound to bring me a ton of abuse and wiseass remarks, Shamus felt it was too funny not to share. So, here we go.

Shamus was out of town this past weekend on a business trip. Being the queen of “emergency situation preparedness”, I did what I always do when Shamus is away. I outlined an escape plan in my mind for Aiden and I in the event of any number of natural disasters. I strategically placed various weaponry around the house in case of a terrorist attack in Willow Street. I left a light or two on while I was out or asleep to ward off possible intruders. My point is, I was prepared for anything. Or so I thought.
Saturday night, I had just put Aiden to bed and I was about to settle in with my vegan brownies, soy milk and a movie. I was doing the last of the dishes when out of the corner of my eye, I see this big black cricket (no joke, the size of a tennis ball) hop from the island to the kitchen floor. Now before I continue, I need to let you in on a few of my biggest fears. The first being sharks and just the ocean, in general. A very close second though, are cockroaches and crickets. They are incredibly fast and unpredictable and have no apparent fear of humans. I used to mace cockroaches in NYC when they got too close. But here I am alone and in absolute sheer terror of the cricket that seems to mock me from his place on the floor, causing me to jump every time he makes the slightest movement.
I realized that I was so very alone and would need to handle this by myself. The first thing I had to do was put down my Glock which I had intuitively un-holstered from my sweatpants(Plaxico Buress style).Perhaps, 16 rounds of hollow point was a bit overkill. I exchanged my gun for a bottle of Tilex in one hand and a red cup in the other. As I sprayed the cricket with a blind, murderous rage, he stumbled around trying to get away but the relentless stream of poison and fumes stunned him. When he finally stopped moving momentarily, I put the red cup over him (shrieking like a little girl the whole time). I figured at the very least, I had bought myself a few minutes to think.
Oddly enough, I had a conversation with my friend Luci earlier that afternoon about why I hate crickets. I had tried to explain how her fear of snakes was totally unfounded compared to my “worst case” cricket scenarios. I decided to text her a picture of the red cup, explained the predicament I was in and asked her what I should do. Her response was brilliant but involved me getting a little too close to the cricket for my comfort. I jokingly (OK- I was dead serious) asked her to make the hour long trek back to my house to finish the job. Seeing as how she thought I was kidding, I decided to go about my night and give the cricket a chance to die on his own. Alright, it’s a little cruel but I knew I could handle a dead cricket a lot better than a live one. I contemplated leaving it there on the floor until Shamus came home the next day, but Luci kindly pointed out that the first thing Aiden would do when he saw the cup the next morning would be to pick it up and play with its contents. After the movie, I spent about seven minutes talking myself into finishing what I started. I grabbed a piece of paper, lifted the cup just enough to get the paper under there, then threw it all into the garbage. To be extra safe, I immediately tied up the garbage bag, doubled the bag up and threw it outside. Take that Mr. Cricket. Let that be a lesson to you and all your cricket friends.

Trimming The Fat Part 2

Hey guys, Kris here
I’ve been meaning to do this for a couple of weeks but life has been crazy busy. Thanks for checking on me and asking about the whole “cholesterol update”. So, without further adieu….
I am happy to report that overall, my cholesterol went down 20 points in 3 months. I was in the “High Risk” Category before (anything over 240) and now it went down to “Borderline High Risk” At first, I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t back to “normal” but then I was able to put things in perspective. My cholesterol went up 44 points in just about 2 years and in just 3 months- I was able to cut that increase in half. That realization made me feel better! Not to mention that I lost 15 pounds and am back in my pre-Aiden wardrobe. Woohoo!

My good cholesterol (HDL) is still a little low and my bad cholesterol (LDL) is still a little high. The biggest drop was in my triglycerides, which are actually in a normal range right now! The triglycerides measure cholesterol that comes specifically from your lifestyle (diet, inactivity, drinking, smoking…etc). So, I was happy to see that the changes in my diet and exercise made a significant impact on those numbers. Based on the new report, I won’t need to take any medication.
The number one question I have been getting from my friends and family is, “Will you still be a vegan now that you have lowered your cholesterol?”. I have learned a lot about food and health over the last few months while doing this. I still have a lot to learn. I can say with certainty though, that Shamus and I have made some decisions about how we will feed our family from now on. So, the quick answer is that I consider myself to be 85% vegan. I am fine eating dairy as long as it’s fat free and/or cholesterol free and meat will be a rare indulgence. I came up with 5 rules that we try to follow as closely as possible. I didn’t get them out of a book or online, they are just a list of things I made up that help us make better choices about what we eat. I needed something that would keep me from feeling overwhelmed when I went grocery shopping and these 5 things are pretty easy to follow.

One other thing I thought I’d share was that I am participating in the ING half marathon in Philly on September 20th. A friend of mine (shout out to Heidi!), asked me to team up with her and while I was very hesitant at first, now I am really looking forward to it. Training is hard but I am so happy to be at a point where I know I can actually accomplish a half marathon and that makes it all worth it. Four months ago, I couldn’t run 3 miles without feeling like I was going to pass out.

I really appreciate all the support a lot of you guys gave me. Aiden seems to be taking it in stride. He is still anti- “green” vegetables and would like to make sure everyone knows that. Shamus surprised me most of all. I thought he would complain and tease me non-stop about this. He has been a trooper, eating whatever I made him, the only exception being a silken tofu fettucine “alfredo” sauce that almost made me puke too. Thanks babe, for being willing to make sacrifices for me that I know were difficult. No matter what crazy things I get myself into, you continue to be my biggest fan and I am incredibly thankful for you.

Click here to view the five rules.

Trimming the fat

By Kris Smith

So, this all started about 2 months ago when I went to the doctor for a routine check up. After the lab sent my doctor the results of my blood work- she gave me a call. “Everything looks great, except your cholesterol is rather high for someone your age”, she told me. She spouted off HDL and LDL numbers and something about a triglyceride. I wasn’t really listening to her. I still have no idea which of those are good and which are bad. As visions of my arteries thickening and my blood struggling to get through them raced through my head, I thought, “How could this be?”. I’m only 33, and sure I could stand to lose some weight but I certainly get more exercise running after Aiden everyday than all of the NY Giants get in the off season combined. Nevertheless, she gave me 3 months to get the numbers down with diet and exercise and if that didn’t work, she said she would need to put me on medication. Well, that was it. I have no intention of carrying around a little pill box with the days of the week on it like some 85 year old with Shamus busting my chops- “Did you take your pills today, wench?”.

I started to do some research since I couldn't have told you then what foods actually contain cholesterol. Turns out it’s in all types of animal meat (including fish and poultry) and in dairy products. Well, that explains it. Anyone who knows me, knows I have two basic food groups: Chicken and Ice Cream. Apparently, even if you eat lean meats and light ice cream, you are subject to getting high cholesterol because of it. I decided that in order to really make a commitment to eating healthy over the next 3 months, I was going to have to become a vegan, at least temporarily. I know some of you just rolled your eyes and the word “freak” just came out of some of your mouths and I can’t blame you. That’s exactly what my reaction was when coming across one of those, well…. Freaks, in the past. Let me state for the record that I love meat. I am not doing this to save animals or as a statement against the mistreatment of dairy cows. In fact, I would snap a chicken’s neck with my bare hands just to have Chicken Marsala for dinner. The problems, I am learning are far greater than any one of your normal “tree hugging” variety.

I bought Vegetarian cookbooks, read a ton of articles online and in less than 2 hours, I finished the book, “Eat this, Not that for Kids” by David Zinczenko. I had no idea the dire situation we are in as a nation- especially with our kids. Here are just a few of the startling facts I came across…
• One in three children born in the year 2000 will develop diabetes at some point in his or her lifetime.
• Overweight people are 120% more likely to develop stomach cancer
• 60% of overweight children have at least one cardiovascular disease risk.

I understand that in our current economic times, we tend to spend our days worrying about job loss, personal finances and how to spend less. All of these issues are important. However, we have made it about saving “pennies” and “minutes” by grabbing fast food at a drive thru or at a chain restaurant because we have a coupon. We decided there just isn’t enough time in the day to cook a meal because everyone in the family is so over committed, we have 4 different places to be on any given night of the week. Someone actually told me, "God did not intend for us to be vegetarians". I realize there is some truth to that. However, we have "created" deep-fried oreos, cheese fries and corndogs. All of which, I'm fairly certain, were not on His original menu either. Let's keep things in perspective people.

When I first started this, I made it my own little “diet”. I didn’t impose any of this on Shamus and Aiden because "real men eat meat". This past weekend though, I became more aware of my responsibility to them as well. I am the one who goes grocery shopping and prepares the meals, most of the time. If Shamus and I don’t set a good example for Aiden, or even worse, if we don’t live long enough to be a good example, then he could end up being the 1 in 3 who will be diagnosed with diabetes, or the one who develops heart disease when he’s 20. Does this mean I will never have chicken or ice cream ever again. Of course not. I am merely suggesting we pay closer attention to what we feed our families. Eating right and exercising is not something I care to do for vanity anymore. Would I like to be 115 pounds again? Sure. But the one thing I have learned since becoming a parent… it’s not about me anymore.

Special thanks to Lori for her cookbook suggestions and food ideas and to Luci for listening to me drone on about it at our wine tasting lunch (I drink wine to lower my cholesterol!!!).
For those interested, here are some links to resources, I have found helpful.
Vegetarian Recipes
Vegetarian starter kit
Stay tuned for the next health update from my doctor.

Just Out For A Stroll

If I close my eyes, I can still smell the streets of New York City. Now, it isn't what you're thinking...well, maybe a little bit...but seriously...I can still remember the smell of spring in Battery Park and the hotdog cart on the corner of almost every street. Oddly enough, the occasional campground smell of a fire and some barbeque wafted through the air...mixing in with the unmistakable aroma of ethnic diversity. Sure there's the garbage smell and the odor of urine...but that is just part of the charm and experience of a New York visit and I loved every minute of it! My partners in crime included Kris and Shamus, Rita, Luci and my husband, Eric!
This past weekend I saw a bit of NYC that escapes the majority of tourists and we SUCCESSFULLY crammed several days of sightseeing in a two day window thanks to "The Itinerary" and the navigation skills of Kris and Shamus. We experienced the show "Wicked" (phenomenal!!) , toured the Intrepid, watched monkeys comb each other for bugs and turtles mate at the Central park Zoo, ate some INCREDIBLE food...I'm talking mutant shrimp and onion rings you'd offer up your firstborn for...did I mention the blissful surrender they called "Filet Mignon" and "New York Strip"...or how about the nine foot tall hot fudge sundae! I digress....talk of food always does that to me. We even had time to catch a Burlesque show in a seriously unique club called "The Slipper Room"....for me, endearingly reminiscent of a bawdy vaudeville act. It was awesome to be a part of that.
Our visit to Ellis Island and Trinity church left such an imprint on my soul, that the aura of those places still linger with me. I can't begin to convey how it felt to share the same space with ghosts of a time most people forget. At Ellis island, I stood looking up at the ceiling of the reception hall where thousands of people from all over the world waited to be processed into this country. I walked the halls where countless people were told they were being deported back to their mother country because of illness or inability to work making them a public case.....but that their wives and/or children could stay. Families finally reunited after years of separation, a new beginning or the freedom to practice their religion without fear of persecution. Such sacrifice...such heartache and joy under one roof.
Trinity church was like a pause,...a reason to sigh in the middle of the busiest city in the world. It was as if time stopped for me as I crossed that threshold. I learned that Kris called the church home for a bit following 9/11 along with many firefighters, police officers and rescue volunteers...and the overwhelming feeling of peace made sense to me. We walked the church grounds, viewing various tombstones and reading inscriptions of many a beloved person. Being here with my husband and friends I care deeply for....I almost forgot I was in the middle of this raging city....the bustling noise of productivity quieted...and I realized that New York City went way beyond its reputation. It isn't just a city you take the local bus tour to...hitting all the hot shopping spots so you can acquire the hottest new Christmas gift. It's a HUGE part of American history, it can attest to survival and of overcoming defeat in the face of insurmountable obstacles, it welcomes you in to the melting pot of it's diversity. New York City is someone's neighborhood...a place to call home, point out where they went to school, or kissed their first love.
We shuffled onto the Staten island ferry early saturday evening, filled up with food ( my husband wants me to mention the shrimp again- I told him "no, it's time for the pastries' spotlight"), friendship and that little sad feeling you get when you know your special vacation moment has come to an end, leaving an imprint behind. I love riding the ferry watching the city rise up in front of you...trying not to stare and failing miserably....I love the subway, and that panicky feeling I get that Luci's metro card won't admit her ( but it does) ...I love ( oh, how I love) the food and trying to make a decision on which dessert I'm going to have. Most of all, I love being in the company of friends and having the time to talk with them.
Before I knew it, monday morning was upon me....and I discovered that I missed the noise.

NYC 2009 from shamus smith on Vimeo.

Chewie

Hey all- it's Kris. Shamus has been asking me to do a "guest appearance" on his blog and I always tell him no. I am the one who is taking care of our lives while he sits on his laptop enlighening the world through his blog. After all, someone has to do it. However, I finally have something I feel compelled to blog about. Yesterday, Shamus and I came to the very difficult decision to put our dog, Chewie, to sleep. This decision has been a long time coming and I can't say that there was a specific event in the past few days to lead us to this but more like a culmination of things that were already beginning to concern us. As much as we agree it was something that had to be done, it has not made the past 24 hours any easier. So, I put together a little video montage as part of my mourning process (see below).

Here is my "top ten list" of memories for Chewbacca:

10. His fluffiness
9. His puppy dog eyes that he gave you when he was being bad
8. Trying to take food off my plate, every meal, every day
7. His ability to hump all things, both animate and inanimate objects
6. Knowing he would be happy to see me whenever I came home
5. How he let the cats and Aiden beat on him
4. The many pairs of my underwear he ate, and then threw up
3. The way he assumed it was his God-given right to sleep on my pillow, in my spot in the bed for the past 10 years
2. Him licking my feet (OK, I know it's weird, but I liked it)
1. His unconditional love

Chewie from shamus smith on Vimeo.

Condescending...

Condescending people flippin' kill me!

I am the long lost friend of Shamus, Johnna. I am presently being held hostage in the labor and delivery side of the hospital. Ok here is the deal, cervix...not much left, baby...well it needs to cook a bit longer. What does that equal? Bed rest. I am supposed to be in the "before you have a baby" section (I am not big on formalities), but they ran out of patients. Since I was the only one left, they moved me here, to labor and delivery. HERE is where you are NOT allowed more than 2 visitors at a time and absolutely NO children under 16 unless they are yours.

Know how I know all this? SOME CONDESCENDING MURSE shared this with me. Wanna know how? He interrogated my family outside of my room and then after they settled in, kicked them all out and gave me a 10 minute lecture sitting straddled at the foot of my bed while they all stood in the hallway. Of course I listened and promised nothing except that I would share the information with them. 15 minutes later he came in, spread his arms wide and asked me, "Well, did you tell them?" Do I look 12? Are they NOT in the room? GRRRRRRR

Here's the best thing...he was asked by my aunt if he knew my situation and how much I needed my family right now and he said yes. You get an A for compassion Mr. Murse!!!!! Isn't nursing supposed to be a compassionate profession? There are rules, I understand that. Wouldn't it be better to say, "What you are used to on the other side is a bit different from here so from tomorrow on could you please"...?
THAT I can respect.

SO....
The top ten ways to stop condescending people in their tracks:

10. MOCK them

9. Interrupt with sarcasm whenever possible.

8. Just start laughing, people never know what to do then.

7. Seriously?

6. Kill them with kindness.

5. Give the death stare till they feels the wrath of God.

4. Curse frequently, maybe if they think you have Tourettes...

3. Is murder an option? Ok, just checking.

2. I'll see your condescending and raise you a supercilious.

1. Just call him a MURSE!