Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Hello, my name is Aiden.
I am told that I am turning two years old this week. I have to be honest with you, I don't really know what that means. I can tell you that my house will be full of people in a few short hours and Mom has been busy preparing for a few days now.
My life is a fairly simple one. I live in a house with a big staircase. I like to count the steps as I walk up and down from nap time. I eat as much as my parents will feed me. My Mom says I take after my Dad in that way. Mom feeds me me differently than most other people feed me.
So far, I am partial to the drums. As I don't own an actual drum kit yet, I make do banging pots and pans all around the house. My dad tells me that my first real drum set is not far off. Three cats live in my house with me. I like to chase them around and say goodnight to them before bedtime.
Daily life is run according to the schedule my Mom has designed for me. As long as I am permitted, by the bigger people around me to adhere to it, I behave in a rather friendly manner. Any deviation from it, and I cannot make any guarantees as to my disposition.
I have this knack for being capable of hearing planes flying over our house up in the sky. I seem to be able to do this with relative ease, no matter what else may be going on around me. My dad has told me that I may end up having very special hearing someday. That seems to make him very happy.
Down the block from where I live, are cows and horses. I know that a cow says "moooo" and that the horse says "Neighhh" My parents are always telling me how different the scenes were when they were small. Something 'bout gang bangers, hookers and puddles of urine. Whatever that may mean. I've also heard my mom say she was a hooker at one time. This confuses me greatly. Mom and Dad are funny like that.
I like to watch a few cartoons. I counter that side of myself by sitting along side Dad while he watches Jeopardy every night. He tells me that his dad always did well watching this show, so I should pay attention. Somehow, Dad manages to answer allot of questions correctly on this show, but it's Mom who gets the final Jeopardy correct more often than Dad. Maybe I should pay attention to what they both have to say.
Well, nap time is almost over and I should get this laptop downstairs before Dad realizes it's missing. He seems to take this thing everywhere with him. If you are ever in the area with the cows and horses, the area without the puddles of urine, stop in sometime.